joke time..bawal ang pikon!? lets laugh and learn!

[kaycee]

Q: Ano ang Pambansang isda ng Phils.?
(Note: correct answer is Bangus/Milkfish)
A: Pating?!
Q: Mali! O eto ang clue: "Ito ay nagsisimula sa letrang "B".
A: Balyena!?
Q: Mali na naman! Another clue, 100 times na mas maliit sa balyena.
A: Alam ko na!...BUTETE!!


Q: What is the national fish of the Philippines?
Clue: Its name starts with the letter "b" (Bangus).
A: Botete.
Q: Hindi, may "s" sa dulo.
A: botetes.


Q: Ano ang pambansang hayop ng Phils.?
Clue ito ay nagsisumula sa letrang "K" (Note: correct answer is kalabaw a.k.a. water buffalo)
A: Kambing?!
Q: Mali! next and last clue" katulong ng mga magsasaka sa pag-bubungkal ng lupa"
A Alam ko na! Kutong-lupa!!?
Q: Mali na naman! Ang tamang sagot ay kabayo!


Q: Anong pambansang hayop ng pilipinas?
Ang initial ay "K"(sagot=Kalabaw)
A: Kambing
Q: Hindi, itim ang kulay ng hayop na ito.
A: Kuto
Q: Hindi, itong hayop na ito ay nasa lupa
A: Kutong lupa



Q: Sino ang pumatay kay Magellan?
Clue "LL" ang kanyang initials. (Note: correct answer is Lapu Lapu)
A: Lito Lapid, Jr.?
Q: Mali, Lito Lapid, Jr. was not even born at that time!
A: E... di si Lito Lapid Sr.?!
Q: Wrong! Another clue "inuulit-ulit ang pangalan n'ya.
A: Ah alam ko na! LITO-LITO!
Q: Mali!
A: LAPID-LAPID?!


Q: Sino and nakapatay kay Magellan? Ang initial ay L-L
A: Lito Lapid
Q: Hindi, inuulit ang pangalan nito!
A: Lito-lito lapid-lapid
Q: Hindi, konti lang ang letra ng pangalan niya
A: Lot-lot
Q: Hindi, mas marami pa dito ang t*** niya
A: Lot-lot and friends



Q: Ano ang pangalan ng pambansang bayani ng Pilipinas?
Clue: JR ang kanyang initials (Note: correct answer is Dr. Jose Rizal)
A: Jeric Raval?!
Q: Mali! Another clue: siya'y isang doktor!
A: Is it Dr. Jerick Raval?!
Q: Mali! Isa pang clue: siya ay yumao na!
A: The late Dr. Jerick Raval?


Q: Ano ang 2 + 2? (Note: correct answer is 4)
A: Tri ?!
Q: Mali! O eto ang clue: "Taasan mo ng konti".
A: (in a higher tone) TRI?!!


Q: Ano ang pambansang bulaklak ng Pilipinas?
Clue: Ito'y nagsisimula sa letrang "S" at nilalako sa EDSA.
(Note: correct answer is Sampaguita)
A: Storck!
Q: Mali!
A: Sitsaron?
Q: Hay naku! Sinabi nang bulaklak ito e.
A: Sitsaron bulaklak?!
Q: Mali! Another clue: tinutuhog ito!
A: Squid Ball?


Q: What is the National Flower of the Philippines?
Clue: It starts with the letter "S" (Sampaguita).
A: Sunflower.
Q: Hindi, binibenta ito sa kalye.
A: Stork.
Q: Hindi, bulaklak sabi, eh.
A: sitsarong bulaklak!
Q: Hindi pa rin. Ang ending niya ay letrang "A".
A: Sitsarong bulaklak na may suka!
Q: O, para madali ha, uulitin ko ang clues at dagdagan ko pa: pangalan ng bulaklak na nagsisimula sa letrang "S", nagtatapos sa letrang "A" at kapangalan ito ng isang sikat na singer.
A: Si Sharon Cuneta


Q: Ano ang pambansang ibon ng Philippines? (Note: correct answer is Maya)
A: Sisiw?
Q: Mali! O eto ang clue: nagsisimula sa initial na "M."
A: Manok?!
Q: Hindi! Ito ay kulay brown!
A: Ah...e di....piniritong Manok!!
Q: Hay naku! Mali! Mali! Ito ay mas maliit sa manok!
A: Maggi chicken cube ?!


Q: Sino ang action king ng Phil. movies? Ang kanyang initials ay F.P.
(correct answer is Fernando Poe)
A: Eh, di si Fops Pernandez!
Q: Mali, may Junior siya sa huli
A: Fops Pernandez, Jr.?!



Q: Ano ang national tree of the Philippines?
Clue: Nagsisimula ang pangalan niya sa letrang "N" (Narra).
A: Niyog.
Q: Mas matigas pa diyan.
A: (In a strong-sounding voice) Niyog!


Q: Saan binaril si Dr Jose P. Rizal?
Clue: "B" ang simula (Bagumbayan)
A: Sa back?
Q: O sige, pwede rin na ang simula ay "L" (Luneta).
A: Sa likod?
Q: Hindi pa rin. Para mas madali, gamitin natin ang kaniyang modern name - "RP" (Rizal Park).
A: Sa rear part


Q: Saan tayo madalas pumunta pag summer upang maligo.
Clue: Nagsisimula sa letrang "B" (Beach).
A: Banyo.
Q: Hindi, pag pumunta ka doon, naaarawan ka.
A: Bubong.
Q: Hindi, pag nandoon ka na, marami kang makikita na mga babaeng nakabikini.
A: Ahhhh! beerhouse!


Question: Ano ang ginagamit na floatation device sa dagat upang hindi ka malunod?
Clue: Starts with the letter "S" - Go!!! (correct answer: salbabida)
Ateneo: (linalapit ang bibig sa mike) Sirena.
Host: Hindi! Hindi ito babae.
San Beda: Siyokoy.
host: Hinde!! Hinde ito Lalake!
La Salle: Siyoke.




Q: Anong hayop sa dagat ang may walong tentacles?
Clue: Ang pangalan niya ay nagsimula sa "Octo" (Octopus).
A: October.
Q: Hindi, walo nga ang tentacles nito.
A: Octo-walo.
Q: Hindi pa rin. Ang hayop na ito ay walang spine at malambot ang katawan.
A: Octoarts Dancer.
Q: Hindi, nagtatapos sa "s" ang pangalan nito.
A: Octoarts Dancers.
Q: Hindi pa rin.
A: Octomechanix



Q: Ano ang tawag ng tao na sumasagip sa iyo pag ikaw ay nalulunod?
Clue: "L" ang simula ng pangalan niya (Lifeguard).
A: Lifebuoy.
Q: Hindi, pero kahawig nga ng pangalan ng sabon ang pangalan ng taong ito.
A: Safeguard.
Q: Hindi, pero makukuha mo ang pangalan nito pag pinagsama mo ang dalawang sagot mo.
A: Safe boy
Q: Hindi siya "boy" at matipuno nga ang kaniyang katawan.
A: Si Mr. Clean.



: Sino ang kaunaunahang chess grandmaster of Asia? Clue: Kapangalan niya ang tao ng chess (Eugene Torre).
A: Carole King.
Q: Hindi, mas mababa sa "King".
A: Al Quinn.
Q: Hindi, Filipino ang apelyido niya.
A: Armida Siguion-Reyna.
Q: Hindi pa rin. Mas mababa pa sa "Reyna".
A: Bishop Bacani.
Q: Mas mababa pa sa "Bishop".
A: Johnny Midnight (Knight).
Q: Mas mababa pa sa "Knight".
A: Jerry Pons (Pawns)?
Q: O ayan na ha. Nabanggit mo na ang lahat ng piyesa. Yung kahulihulihang piyesa na lang.
A: Sylvia la Torre


Q: Sino ang National Hero na naka-picture sa 500-peso bill?
Clue: Ang initials niya ay "N-A"(Ninoy Aquino).
A: Nora Aunor.
Q: Hindi, ang last letter ng kaniyang palayaw ay "Y".
A: Guy Aunor?
Q: Hindi, dati siyang naging Senador
A: The former Senator Nora Aunor.
Q: Hindi, patay na siya!
A: Patay na pala si Nora Aunor? . . . waaaahh!!!


Q: Anong pangalan ng bagong grupong mangsasayaw. Ang initial ay UMD, at kumakanta pa sila. (Universal Motion Dancer)
A: United Merikan Diki-diki
Q: Hindi, maraming kababaihan at mga syoke na naghihimatayan
A: Ut and Mouth Disease


Q: Anong pambansang damit sa lalaki? Ang initial ay B (sagot=Barong)
A: Bahag
Q: Hindi, may malaki pa dito sa bahag
A: Baggie

Q: What is the national food of the Philippines?
Start with letter "L" (sagot=Lechon)
A: Laing
Q: Hindi, baboy ang ginagamit sa pagluluto
A: Ginisang baboy sa laing


Q:Sino ang pinakasexing artista natin ngayon na may film na Darna? Clue: Ang initials niya ay A.A.
A: Si... Anthony Alonzo?
Q: Hindi... Babae siya.
A: Si... Alicia Alonzo?


Q: Ano ang pambansang kasuotan ng mga kababaihan? B.S. ang initials
A: Bathing Suit?
Q: Hindi, tagalog ito.
A: Blusa at Sando?
Q: Mali. E, sa kalalakihan naman, ano ang tawag sa kasuotan. B rin ang simula.
A: Brief?
Q: Hindi, mas manipis pa ito...
A: Bikini brief?


Q: Dugtungan ang mga sumusunod na pangungusap (fill in the blank) "kapag may aklat, ______". Clue, start with the letter "S" go!
A: Sosyal. Kapag may aklat, Sosyal!
Q: Hinde, ang synonym nito ay hinahangaan ka ng mga tao o fans kagaya kay Nora Aunor
A: Superstar. Kapag may aklat, Superstar!
Q: Hinde, ang kaparehong kahulugan nito sa ingles ay famous.
A: Sip-sip. Kapag may aklat, Sip-sip!
Q: Hinde, ang kaparehong kahulugan rin nito sa ingles ay Sunrise.
A: Sunshine. Kapag may aklat, Sunshine!
Q: Hinde nga eh!, other word ng Sunshine sa pilipino.
A: ST. Kapag may aklat, ST!

Q: Dugtungan ang mga sumusunod na pangungusap (fill in the blank) "You're nothing but a second rate. Trying hard, copy ____". Clue, start with the letter "C" go!
A: Cuneta. "You're nothing but a second rate. Trying hard, copy Cuneta".
Q: Hinde, madalas ito ang dahilan sa ang mga bata ay nagkakasakit dahil sa kanyang mga balahibo.
A: Corikong. "You're nothing but a second rate. Trying hard, copy Corikong".
Q: Hinde sabi, Madalas ay pagala-gala sa mga kalye at sa kalsada.
A: Cop. "You're nothing but a second rate. Trying hard, copy Cop".
Q: Hinde, ito'y madalas hinahabol ng aso.
A: Cartero. "You're nothing but a second rate. Trying hard, copy Cartero".

[karen]

ASTIG! thank u ha! pinasaya mo ko! pwamizz
sana marami pa... (",)

[~**LuAn Yan**~]

my gad kaycee...mamamatay ako sa kakatawa dito sa cafe...salamat ha...sumakit tuloy ang tiyan koh...[/c]

[~**LuAn Yan**~]

[may dagdag jokes akoh...

Beauty Pageant Jokes

-----------------

In a beauty pageant:
Host: Ms Bacolod, what is your edge over the other contestants in this pageant?
Ms. Bacolod: Mabuhay Philippines!Good evening. My edge is 21 years old!!!

ahahahaha

-----------------

Host: Ms Timawan, what do you think about the situation of our country nowadays?What could you comment about it:
Ms Timawan: Good evening. I think.... I think.... I think.... I thank you...

ngeks!!!!

----------------

In a local Ms Gay Pageant
Host: Bading, what can you contribut to the economic crisis of country as a gay?
Bayot: Ha???ah,,eh...ano bah...ewan ko noh...ano ba 'to? Ms Gay o Quiz Bee??

wakekekekeke....
[/b]

[sheila]

-ALAMAT NG SAGING-

Noong unang panahon sa bakuran ni Juan nakakita sya ng tumubong puno.

Sabi ni juan "ano 'to??Parang saging ah!!"

Mula non tinawag na itong saging.

THE END.

wahahaha..

[~**LuAn Yan**~]

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

[~**LuAn Yan**~]

Husband Store
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where
a Woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the
store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you may
choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor,
but
you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to
the Husband Store to find a husband . .


On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.


The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are
extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-
dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!"she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
till, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-
dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic
streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the
sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof
that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you
exi the building, and have a nice day!

[~**LuAn Yan**~]

Parental Wisdom - Filipino Style


Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang mga mumunti ngunit ginintuang butil na payo na nakuha ko sa aking mga magulang.

1. Si Inay, tinuruan niya ako HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:

"Kung kayong dalawa ay magpapatayan, doon kayo sa labas! Mga leche kayo, kalilinis ko lang ng bahay."

2. Natuto ako ng RELIGION kay Itay:

"Kapag yang mantsa di natanggal sa carpet, magdasal ka na!"

3.Kay Inay ako natuto ng LOGIC:

"Kaya ganyan, dahil sinabi ko."

4. At kay Inay pa rin ako natuto ng MORE LOGIC:

"Pag ikaw nalaglag diyan sa bubong, ako lang mag-isa ang manonood ng sine."

5. Si Inay din ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng IRONY:

"Sige ngumalngal ka pa at bibigyan talaga kita ng iiyakan mo!"

6. Si Inay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang CONTORTIONISM:

"Tingnan mo nga yang dumi sa likod ng leeg mo, tingnan mo!!!"

7. Si Itay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng STAMINA:

"Wag kang tatayo diyan hangga't di mo nauubos lahat ng pagkain mo!"

8. At si Inay ang nagturo sa amin kung ano ang WEATHER:

"Lintek talaga kayo, ano ba itong kuwarto nyong magkapatid, parang dinaanan ng bagyo!"

9. Ganito ang paliwanag sa akin ni Inay tungkol sa CIRCLE OF LIFE:

"Malandi kang bata ka, iniluwal kita sa mundong ito, maari rin kitang alisin sa mundong ito."

10. Kay Itay ako natuto kung ano ang BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:

"Tumigil ka nga diyan! Huwag kang umarte na parang Nanay mo!"

11. Si Inay naman ang nagturo kung anong ibig sabihin ng GENETICS:

"Nagmana ka nga talaga sa ama mong walanghiya!"

12. Si Inay naman ang nagpaliwanag sa amin kung anong ibig sabihin ng ENVY:

"Maraming mga batang ulila sa magulang. Di ba kayo nagpapasalamat at mayroon kayong magulang na tulad namin?"

13. Si Itay naman ang nagturo sa akin ng ANTICIPATION:

"Sige kang bata ka, hintayin mong makarating tayo sa bahay!"

14. At si Itay pa rin ang nagturo kay Kuya kung anong ibig sabihin ng
RECEIVING:

"Uupakan kita pagdating natin sa bahay!"

15. Si Inay naman ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang HUMOR:

"Kapag naputol yang mga paa mo ng pinaglalaruan mong lawnmower, wag na
wag kang tatakbo sa akin at lulumpuhin kita!"

16. At ang pinakamahalaga sa lahat, natutunan ko kina Inay at Itay kung ano ang JUSTICE:

"Balang araw magkakaroon ka rin ng anak...tiyak magiging katulad mo at magiging sakit din sa ulo!"

[~**LuAn Yan**~]

MALE OR FEMALE???

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike
English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."
"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups,

male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether
"computer"
should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the
feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible
later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
half
your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine
("el computador"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they
ARE
the problem; and,
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a
little longer, you could have gotten a better model.



The women won, we always do

[~**LuAn Yan**~]

Mom: baby, your good in math. Now I'm going to ask you a question.
Baby: sure mom
Mom: if your daddy gives you 3 apples and I give you 4 apples, what's your answer?
Baby: thank you po!!!
------------------------------------------

BF: may malaki ako problema.
GF: wag mo sabihin problema mo lang problema natin dahil nagmamahalan tayo. ngayon ano problema natin?
BF: nabuntis natin si inday at tayo ang ama
------------------------------------------

"There what it takes to be. Then we shall so be it because it is. To do or not to is in the what, now or what else. Without which there never to you!" - words of wisdom from Senator Lito Lapid.
------------------------------------------

Pare1: pare parang malalim ang iniisip mo!
Pare2: nanaginip ako kagabi kasama ko 50 contestants ng Ms. Universe
Pare1: swerte mo! ano problema mo?
Pare2: pare ako nanalo!
------------------------------------------

Killer: father mangungumpisal po ako
Father: ano kasalanan mo?
Killer: pumatay po ako ng 20 tao
Father: bakit?
Killer: kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos, kayo po naniniwala ba?
Father: dati...pero ngayon trip trip na lang
------------------------------------------

Patient: doc takot po ako sa bunot
Dentist: eto gamot pampatapang ng loob
Patient: (ininom ang gamot)
Dentist: ano matapang ka na ba?
Patient: oo doc! puta pag may gumalaw ng ngipin ko basag ang bungo!
------------------------------------------

Passenger taps taxi driver's shoulder...

WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! screamed the driver...

Passenger: bakit ka sumigaw?
Driver: sorry bossing bago lang kasi ako sa taxi. 25 years po kasi ako driver ng funenaria
------------------------------------------

1 panget na babe, hinoholdap

Holdaper: holdap ito! akin na gamit mo!
Babae: RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
Holdaper: anong rape? holdap nga to eh!
Babae: wala lang! nagsusuggest lang...
------------------------------------------

1 lasing nasalubong ang matabang babae na may kasamang aso

Lasing: hoy, saan mo nakuha yang baboy?
Babae: aso ito hindi baboy!
Lasing: huwag ka nga sumabat! yung aso ang kausap ko!
------------------------------------------

In a pet shop...

Customer talking to a parrot...

Customer: hoy! can you talk ha?! bobo!!!
Parrot: yes i can!!! ikaw?! can you fly ha? GAGO!!!
------------------------------------------

Priest: ang mga bakla'y walang lugar sa kaharian ng langit
Mga bakla: carry lang po father...dun na lang kami sa rainbow mag slide-slide!!!
------------------------------------------

Bobo: pare hulaan mo ugali ko, nagsisimula sa letter A
Pare: approachable?
Bobo: mali
Pare: amiable?
Bobo: mali pa rin
Pare: o sige siret na!
Bobo: ANEST wehehe!!!
------------------------------------------

Girl: doc, pacheck-up po
Doc: sige hubad ka ng panty at bra tapos higa ka
Girl: hindi po ako, itong lola ko po
Doc: sige lola, hinga na lang po ng malalim
------------------------------------------


Farmer: lalaki na talaga ang aking anak kasi magsasaka na...ano ang balak mo itanim sa sakahan mo anak?
Anak: flowers papa!!! madaming madaming flowers! pretty diba?!

[~**LuAn Yan**~]

Q: Anong apelyido ni Sisa?
> A: Sisa Mistrit
>
> Q: Anong apelyido ni Cedie?
> A: Cedie Player
>
> Q: Anong apleyido ni Beast?
> A: Beast Kwit
>
> Q: Anong first name ni Nemo?
> A: Sarahgero Nemo
>
> Q: Anong apelyido ni Punisher?
> A: Punisher Ranno
>
> Q: Anong apelyido ni Denzel?
> A: Denzel Weta
>
> Q: Anong apelyido ni Curly?
> A: Curly Gazpi
>
> Q: Ano last name ni Anchor?
> A: Anchor Tis
>
> Q: Ano last name ni Jewel?
> A: Jewel Torre
>
> Q: Ano last name ni Kula?
> A: Kula Desma
>
> Q: Ano surname ni Joseph?
> A: Joseph Protgam
>
> Q: Anong apelyido ni Aiko?
> A: Aiko Zada
>
> Q: Anong apelyido ni Christopher?
> A: Christopher Minute
>
> Q: Anong apelyido ni Palito?
> A: Palito Lippi
>
> Q: Anong first name ni Keno?
> A: Krisa Keno
>
> Q: Ano first name ni Janno?
> A: Eduman Janno
>
> Q: Ano first name ni Squall?
> A: Piolopa Squall
>
> Q: Ano first name ni Basilio?
> A: Lacto Basilio
>
> Q: Ano first name ni Pikachu?
> A: Cherrypie Pikachu
>
> Q: Ano first name ni Kenny G?
> A: Johnep Kenny G
>
> Q: ano ang first name ni Volta?
> A: Johntra Volta
>
> Q: Ano first name ni Diether?
> A: Tirso Cruz Diether

>Q: Ano ang buong pangalan ni Angelina Jolie?
>A: Angelina Joliena Magdangal

>Q: ano naman ang tutoong buong pangalan ni Jean Claude?
>A: Jean Claude Van dolph Kizon

[carmilina]

sus,,

[lourdes-khulotzky]

;D lol.... hehehehehe

[cedieyui]

*Break Into the House*


A man went to the police station
wishing to speak with the burglar who
had broken into his house the night
before.


"You'll get your chance in court,"
said the desk sergeant.


"No, no,no!" said the man. "I want to
know how he got into the house without
waking my wife. I`ve been trying to do
that for years!"


***********


*Lost Wife*


The man approached a very beautiful
woman in a large supermarket and
asked,"You know, I've lost my wife
here in the supermarket.

Can you talk to me for a couple of
minutes?"


"Why?" she asks.


"Because every time I talk to a
beautiful woman, my wife appears out
of nowhere."


***********


*Teacher*


"If there are any idiots in the room,
will they please stand up?" said the
sarcastic teacher.


After a long silence, one freshman
rose to his feet."Now then mister, why
do you consider yourself an idiot?"
enquired the teacher with a sneer.


"Well, actually I don't," said the
student, "but I hate to see you
standing up there all by yourself."


***********


*Hearing*


An elderly gentleman had serious
hearing problems for a number of
years.


He went to the doctor and the doctor
was able to have him fitted for a set
of hearing aids that allowed the
gentleman to hear 100%.


The elderly gentleman went back in a
month to the doctor and the doctor
said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your
family must be really pleased that you
can hear again."


The gentleman replied, "Oh, I havn't
told my family yet. I just sit around
and listen to the conversations. I've
changed my will three times!"


***********


*Wedding*


Attending a wedding for the first
time, a little girl whispered to her
mother, "Why is the bride dressed in
white?"


"Because white is the color of
happiness and today is the happiest
day of her life." Her mother tried to
explain, keeping it simple.


The child thought about this for a
moment,then said, " So, why is the
groom wearing black?"


***********


* Dream*


A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's
Day and announced enthusiastically to
her husband, "I just dreamed that you
gave me a pearl necklace for
Valentine's day! What do you think it
means?"


With certainty in his voice, the man
said, "You'll know tonight."


That evening the man came home with a
small package and handed it to his
wife. With anxious anticipation the
woman quickly opened the package to
find a book entitled - " The meaning
of Dreams".


***********

[cedieyui]

A lady goes to the doctor's office and
tells the doctor that she can't get
her husband to have sex with her
anymore.




So, the doctor gives her some pills
and says to give her husband one each
night in his dinner whenever she wants
to have sex.




That night she gave him one and they
had a decent night of sex. The next
night she decided to try 4 pills and
she had even better sex. Well the
next night she tried 8 pills and the
sex was wonderful. So the next night
she decided to dump the whole bottle
in his dinner.




A few weeks later her son showed up at
the doctor's office and and
said, "Doctor, Doctor, what did you do
to my Daddy? My mom's dead, my
sister's pregnant, my butt hurts, and
my dad's going around saying here
kitty, kitty, kitty!"